I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hippo gnu deer
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
