yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
