You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
