bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
