I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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