you win again, gameday.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
