So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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