the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
