Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You're like the curious george of whores
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
