we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
