Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This baby is an asshole
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
