He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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