Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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