ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
