he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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