He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
