Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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