He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just cut my nipple shaving
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize