He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
