i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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