The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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