check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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