she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
