apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize