do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
