she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The air was thick with penises
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
