New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
