Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You left your phone here
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