I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
