well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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