these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
operation have a gay friend backfired
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
