Please, let me fuck your mom
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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