Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
