I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
