idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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