so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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