maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
