That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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