Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
