Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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