Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
