i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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