My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
