we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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