We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
