it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and she was petting her beer can
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
