Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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