I want to make a zoo with you.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
