im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
