my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
