No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
