But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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