I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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